There was a huge mound growing on my desk and I knew I needed to take care of it, but I just kept putting it off and putting it off. But before one of my children got swallowed up into the Black Hole of a mess that had accumulated over the past few weeks, I knew it was time for me to tackle the Mt. Everest of junk and do the KonMari Method on the items that didn’t bring me joy.
Besides my expert procrastination skills, I knew there was another reason I had put off cleaning my desk. I was trying to ignore it and make like it never existed, but no amount of denial was going to make it disappear. I had a stack of bills from Shelby’s hospital stay that I knew I needed to take care of. I knew those things definitely weren’t going to bring me any joy, but unfortunately, I couldn’t KonMari those.
So, I took a deep breath, said a prayer and started going through all the paperwork. And then the panic started to creep in. Bill after bill, dollar after dollar. They all began to add up, and I’m pretty sure we haven’t received all of the bills yet. Plus, Shelby hasn’t worked either since the incident.
Yet, God reminded me of the abundance of His provision especially over these past few weeks. So many people have displayed such kindness and generosity to our family during this whole ordeal. People made us meals, took care of our kids, and have even donated monetarily to help us pay for our bills. Some are from people we don’t even know. Can you imagine?! Complete strangers blessing our family. I don’t think I’ve ever felt such an overwhelming amount of love and support from so many people. It has really restored my hope in the goodness of mankind. My heart could just burst when I think of all the people who have been so amazingly generous and kind to us.
I am reminded of a passage in the Bible that talks about God’s provision:
If you know me, you know that I detest birds. Sorry if you are a bird lover, but birds majorly freak me out. They are dirty and gross and poop everywhere. A flock of birds is like my worst nightmare, and yet as much as I can’t stand them, God takes care of them. He feeds and provides for them. And how much more will God care for me. He places far more value on me than on a flock of birds.
So even as the bills add up and there’s uncertainty about our future, I know that I don’t have to worry. God will provide. He already has provided. And even though the future may look uncertain, I know I can place my trust in the only One who is certain. And how amazing is it that God sees my true value. To Him, I am totally worth it. I need to just rest in that today.