Another rejection. Another door slammed shut. Another longing unfulfilled.
This isn’t the first time we’ve gone through this. I wish this was new and unfamiliar territory, but we’ve been here before. Sometimes it just feels like we are walking around in circles because here we are at square one all over again.
Yet, each time we start over again, the ache is a little less intense. The pain not so stinging. The hurt a bit more manageable. What we are going through still stinks, but this time around I don’t feel like the whole world is crashing down around me.
It’s just another day… and for that I’m grateful!
Who knows, tomorrow may be completely different, but today I’m choosing faith over my feelings. I could sit here and cry. Shake my fists in the air and cover myself in sackcloth and ashes, but I won’t. I’ve done it before and sometimes in life you just need to have the freedom to do that, but today, in the midst of more disappointing news, I’m choosing instead to view this season as a blessing.
I’ve been working my way through Lysa TerKeurst’s new book, It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way (Which I’m almost finished with. Yay!!! If you’re a mom with littles you know what a great accomplishment that can be.) and came across this timely gem this morning:
“And what about the Israelites? They were far from perfect. But their hard times were their close-to-God times. Their disappointments became divine appointments. Because when they were desperate for God, they remained with God. And those were the times when they would experience great blessing, joy, and peace.”
Lysa TerKeurst, It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way
We’ve faced a lot of hard times recently and it can simply be overwhelming. I want off this crazy roller coaster called my life, and yet I am reminded that this is exactly where God wants me. This is not a curse or a punishment or a “time out”. This is my close-to-God season in life.
I also think it’s pretty amazing that just a few days ago I had written this in my journal. I believe God was preparing my heart for today. Thankful for His grace and how He even used my own words as a reminder of this close-to-God season we are walking through right now.
If God can do exceedingly abundantly more…then why is He not doing that for me now?
Perspective.
Maybe He is, but my perspective is wrong. Abundantly not in the world sense of material and financial gain, but in giving us more of Himself. If so, then absolutely “Yes”!
During this time of suffering I have been met with more of His grace. More of His presence. More of Himself. Christ has been my only sufficiency. In the valley, when I have faced things alone, He has been there. When “friends” have abandoned me, He took me by the hand and comforted me.
He is always there. He never leaves. He goes before me, is there beside me, and he hems me in from behind. When everyone else has deserted me, He is there. Always. Without fail.
O ye of so little faith. He is with you, until the end of the age.
He is not causing you harm. He is allowing it because what is exceedingly abundantly for your good is more of Himself. You then, have received the greatest gift during this time of hardships and trials. A nearness to Christ that not many experience to the depths that you have gone with Him. He has become your all. Only He satisfies. Only He can comfort you and bring healing to your wounded soul.
Isn’t it amazing that your soul hunger can only be satisfied by more of Him- nothing else will do. Praise God that He has placed a longing in your heart that only He can fulfill. A longing for only Him. No material possession or temporal thing will do.
Oh the wonder that his trial has chosen you to make you long for more of Him.
Once you taste and see His goodness, nothing else will fulfill your deepest longings. You can’t go back to your former way of thinking. For every unfulfilled desire, He has given you a new desire-for Himself. Enjoy this valley season where it it just you and God walking through this time. As your heart bleeds, this is your time where He becomes your everything. Retreat away with Him.
In time, life will pick back up, and you will get out of the valley to soar and fly. But your nearness won’t be the same as in the valley. So many other things will clamor for your attention. Use this time to press in to Him. So when you start to feel like everyone else has the perfect life, remember, you’ve been chosen for this. Many are called, but few are chosen.